A Poodle named Elliot...

I had a poodle named Elliot. I got him at the pound. He was mid sized not the little tiny kind. When I got him he was clipped short. I let his hair grow out and he looked like a small black crazy eyed sheepdog. You could barely see his eyes.

Most people couldn't tell he was a poodle because they're used to seeing the clipped versions. I would always tell people he was an African Floogle hound or an Australian kangaroo hound. They would always act amazed and say "really?"

I didn't ever tell people he was a poodle.

I used to take him to the park and let him loose. He would run like crazy. I would hide behind a tree but he would never look for me.

I'd always find him trying to beg for food from some picnickers.

He only liked me when I had food. If I tried to hug him without food he would growl and look at me all crazy eyed.

He never bit me or anybody else. It was all a bluff. He thought he was tough but he wasn't.

One time I came home and he had shredded a feather pillow in the living room. It looked like a snowstorm in there. He thought it was cool. He just looked at me when I scolded him like he thought I was talking gibberish.

He's living with my Mom now. I have to travel too much to take care of him. She loves him in spite of his quirks.

Barney Doodle

I sent my ex-girlfriend a jar with a...

I sent my ex-girlfriend a jar with a fart in it.

I put a label on it that said Remember me?

With Love, Barney.

I don't know why she didn't call me back. It seemed funny when I did it.

I was hoping we could get back together.



Reprinted from Oddwally.com